SWITCHED
by cinderemma
Summary: In a drunken state Ron accidently casts a spell upon the residents of Hogwarts castle and now everyone has switched bodies! Who's been hiding secrets? Is someone pregnant? Who's sleeping with profeesor snape? Mwah ha ha. You'll have to read to find out..
1. Chapter 1

**SWITCHED**

_CHAPTER ONE_

"D'ya know what I think?" slurred Ron drunkenly. Gryffindor had just beaten Slytherin in the Quidditch Cup and, with the Weasley twins gone, it was now down to Harry and Ron to supply the Gryffindors with party food. They couldn't help but 'borrow' a bit of alcohol too.

"I don't know, Ron, tell me what you think," replied Harry, just as drunkenly. Thye had been engaged in a drinking competition with Seamus and Dean and all four of them were absolutely plastered.

"I think …" he began, but passed out before he could finish his sentence.

"Hey, look, everyone!" yelled Seamus. "Weasley has passed out!"

"Quick, who has a magic marker?" cried Emma. Everyone turned to look at her.

"What's a magic marker?" asked Lavender. "No, actually – scrap that question. What the hell are you doing in our Common Room? You're a Ravenclaw!" Emma simply shrugged in that mysterious way of hers. No one knew where she had come from; she had just appeared one day and it was Dumbledore's orders that she should be Sorted, along with her friend, Alyson, who had been Sorted into Slytherin. They had been asked a thousand times where they had come from but had never given anything away and they both had the most annoying habit of turning up in the most random places. Like now, for instance.

"So, are we going to have some fun or not?" asked Seamus impatiently.

"Yes," replied Harry mischievously, "and I have just the plan …"

A few hours later, Ron started to wake up.

"Ah, my head," he groaned. He opened his eyes slowly and jumped in shock. Well, that was the plan, anyway, but he couldn't really do that, as he was tied to the chair he was sitting on. Not only was he tied to the chair he was sitting on, but the chair happened to be in Snape's dungeon. That, in itself, was bad enough, but he then realised that the only thing he was wearing was … a thong.

"They are _so_ going to pay for this," he grumbled, trying to free himself from the ropes binding him to the chair. A few seconds of that and he quickly gave up. Then, to his horror, he heard voices coming from outside the dungeons. Luckily, though, it didn't sound like a teacher. It was two girls, although he had no idea who they were.

"OMG! Poor Hermione! And you say she hasn't told anyone?"

"No, she just seems so sensible, I don't see how a thing like that could happen to her."

"I know! I must admit, though, I do feel pretty sorry for Cho as well."

"Yeah, I know. I've never really liked her but you can't help but feel sorry for her."

"So, has Malfoy said anything to you about … well, you know?" The two girls both broke off into peals of laughter. The catch on the dungeon door turned and they both walked in. One of them was Emma DeLonge and the other was Alyson Russon.

"Oh, you're awake, then," said Emma, coming over and untying his bonds. "I thought I should just come and check on you to make sure nothing had happened to you. Come on, I'll help you back to the Gryffindor Common Room. Give us a hand, Ally." Together, Alyson and Emma hauled him off the chair and started to drag him across the dungeon.

"You know, for a weed, you do weigh a lot, Ron," moaned Ally.

"Say, Ally, you never did tell me why you were down here," said Emma.

"Oh, you know, just walking," mumbled Alyson, turning a bright red.

"At 3 a.m.?" scorned Emma.

"Maybe …" replied Ally in a squeaky voice.

"So, what were you guys talking about earlier?" asked Ron. "You mentioned something about Hermione and Malfoy …."

"Nothing!" they both cried at the same time, accidentally dropping Ron, who went skidding into the potions cupboard. He sat there in a crumpled heap, covered in some slimy, green stuff. Emma and Ally looked at each other and couldn't help but laugh their socks off at the sight.

"Why does everyone have to have so many secrets?" grumbled Ron, getting up. "You know, if I had the power, I would teach everyone a lesson about keeping secrets. It's so annoying; why can't you just face the pain and be honest?" he whined.

"Hey, there's a Muggle song like that!" exclaimed Emma and she started to sing. "_Everybody wants to hide their secrets awaaaay, noobody wants to stand up to the paaain _…"

"Come on, let's get you back to your Common Room," said Alyson, interrupting Emma's singing. Emma didn't seem to care, though; she carried on wailing.

"_But I will STAND UP to the paaain, WAKE UP and fight agaaain _…" That seemed to be the extend of her knowledge of the lyrics because she continued to 'la' the rest of the tune, putting a few lyrics in here and there.

"Emma, you can shut up now," said Alyson.

"_If you could dance with me in this raaain … la, la, la, la … fight again_!"

"Emma, Emma, Emma, Emma, Emma, Emma, SHUT UP!" That brought a halt to Emma's singing. They left the dungeon quickly; breakfast was in a few hours. Behind them, the remainder of the green gunge that now covered Ron began to glow. Outside, a gust of wind blew through the castle grounds, but no one stirred. As the early morning sun began to rise, a piercing scream sounded somewhere in the castle, waking everyone up, soon joined by several other screams from around the castle …


	2. Chapter 2

_CHAPTER TWO_

"Hmm … what … who died … what happened?" asked Emma, sitting up groggily in her bed. The girls around her also began to wake up, grumbling and cursing under their breath. Cho, who shared a dorm with Emma, was standing in front of the mirror, clasping her face and looked on the verge of collapsing.

"Cho, what's going on? You'll wake the whole castle up. Who else is that screaming in the background?" Cho simply stood there, shaking and gasping, saying, "No, no, no, no, no! This can't be happening!"

"Cho, what's going on?" demanded Emma. Cho turned to face her.

"I … I … I'm not Cho. I'm Alyson!" Emma regarded her suspiciously for a moment and then said, "Cho, whatever game you're playing at, it's not funny. Look, there's still two hours 'til breakfast, maybe we can get a little bit more sleep before then …"

"I am telling you, I'm Alyson!" cried Cho. Emma simply stared at her long and hard.

"What? What are you staring at? Do you want some pizza?" yelled Cho in frustration. A shocked look passed across Emma's face.

"Oh my God! It _is_ you! How did you get inside Cho's body?"

"Oh yeah, this is really the face of someone who knows what's going on," stated Ally sarcastically.

"So we need to find out who's in your body?" said Emma slowly.

"Ya _think_?" replied Ally.

"Quick, we have no time to lose!" cried Emma. With a wave of her wand, she was ready and dressed.

"Wow, how'd you do that?" asked Ally in amazement.

"I'm a fictional character," replied Emma simply. "C'mon, take my hand!" she commanded, holding out her hand.

"Emma, I like you, but not in that way," joked Ally. Emma, however, was not impressed. With an exasperated sigh, Ally took Emma's hand and, in a flash, they were in the Slytherin dorms. Alyson, or whoever was in her body, was passed out on the floor. The other Slytherin girls had just walked off and left her. Nice. Emma and Ally rushed to Ally's body and started trying to bring her around.

"What? Is it lessons time yet? Oh no, I haven't done my Arithmancy homework yet! What am I going to do? Why am I on the floor? I am going to be so late! Oh, wait, it's a Saturday; that's all right then," she mumbled. Ally and Emma looked at each other and then looked at Ally's body, struggling to get up.

""Hermione!" they both cried in unison.

"Who else would I be? What are you doing here anyway? I – oh!" Hermione stopped short of what she was saying as she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. "Oh, wh … what happened?"

"We're just trying to figure that out," sighed Emma. "Everybody seems to have switched bodies."

"So who are you two?" asked Hermione, getting up off of the floor.

"I'm Alyson and Emma is just herself," said Ally.

"So who's in my body? Where's Cho?" asked Hermione.

"We don't know. You'd better come with us so we can find out who has actually switched," said Emma. In another flash, they were off again, going from body to body trying to figure out who was who. In the end it looked something like this:

Alyson Cho

Cho Draco

Draco Harry

Harry Hermione

Hermione Alyson

Emma and Ron seemed untouched by this, though, as did the rest of the school. Soon, all seven of them were gathered together in the Entrance Hall, trying to figure out what to do.


	3. Chapter 3

So the discussion wasn't really going that well…

'This is all your fault!'

'My fault how is it my fault?'

'Oh my God, this can't be happening'

'Wait til my father finds out about this!'

'But I've got exams coming up, I can't afford for something like this to happen'

'Hang on, I'm confused, who are you again?'

'We've go to go to a teacher!'

'Do you reckon this is some sort of dark magic?'

'Gah, this underwear is itchy'

'SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!' screamed Emma. There was a sudden silence as everybody turned to look at her. 'O.k, there is really no need to panic.'

'No need to panic? Are you out of your bloody mind? I'm in Potter's body!' spat Draco, and then he shivered in disgust.

'Now really,' said Hermione 'We just need to handle this from a mature and- Oh Harry will you stop it!' Harry was paying far too much attention to his new breasts.

'Do you think we should go to Dumbledore?' asked Cho, on the verge of tears.

'Are you joking!?' cried Alyson. 'I can't go around looking like this!' she decidedly ignored the look Cho was giving her. 'Besides, he'll just think we're playing a prank or we're completely insane or something.'

'How come the Weasel King and the Freak aren't affected by this?' snarled Draco. Ron made a violent move towards him but Emma held him back.

'Because,' she stated simply, 'we're special.'

'Yeah special's the word' said Draco sarcastically, then added under his breath, 'Special needs maybe.' Unfortunately Ron heard this and jumped on Draco before anyone could hold him back. An all too familiar voice sounded from behind them.

'Fighting in the corridors are we? Potter, Weasley?' They looked around to see Snape stood there with a sly smile on his face.

'I think that deserves twenty points from Gryffindor, don't you?' Ron gaped at him furiously. Draco laughed.

'Oh so you think it's funny do you Potter? Another 10 points off I think.'

'But I didn't do anything!' blurted out Harry. Hermione kicked him.

'I don't remember speaking to you Miss Granger. But if you're so desperate to join in our little amusements then I think Gryffindor can afford to lose another 5 points.' With a swish of his cloak he walked off, head held high.

'Bloody git,' grumbled Ron.

'This is what we need to be careful of,' hissed Alyson. 'We can't let anyone know what's going on,'

'What, so are you suggesting that we just act like nothing's wrong while we actually walk round in each other's bodies?' laughed Harry. He stopped abruptly at the stony expressions facing his direction. 'You're not…serious?' he whimpered. Emma sighed deeply.

'I don't think we really have much of a choice,' she said heavily. 'You guys will just have to be each other for a while until me and Ron can figure something out,'

'What why me?' exclaimed a horrified Ron.

'And how long will that actually take?' asked Hermione in a panicky voice.

'I really don't know,' said Emma, 'But for now it's vital that we make sure no-one finds out about this. Just act as the person whose body you're in acts. Eat what they eat and say what they say. Me and Ron will get cracking on an answer and we'll all meet back here at about 9pm tonight.'

'But…but….'

'Move along please people, this isn't a place for social gatherings,' A hassled looking McGonagall came towards them, busily shooing them of to their common rooms.

It was with grave faces that the 7 students went their separate ways.


	4. Chapter 4

Meanwhile…..

Minerva McGonagall couldn't believe what was happening. She kept hoping she would wake up any moment soon and it would all be a dream. But no such luck. How could this have happened? If she was in this…this….excuse for a body, then who was in hers? She paced back and forth. What was she going to do? Dumbledore was in London and she doubted that any of her colleagues would take her seriously if she went to them. No, she simply couldn't tell anyone. She paced back and forth for a while on the cold stone floor considering her options.

Eventually she decided she would have to start off by finding out who was in her body. But she still couldn't understand why this was happening. As far as she knew, never in the entire history of magic had anything like this happened before. She drew in a deep breath and set off for her office. It was quite early in the morning and there was still a little while until breakfast. She might be able to make it without being seen by anyone.

Unfortunately this was not to be the case. Just as she entered the entrance hall she saw a large group of students hanging around, looking suspicious. It was quite an odd group really; Potter's gang as well as Malfoy, Chang, DeLonge and Russon. Unusual for them to be hanging round together. But she had more important things to worry about anyway. All she had to do was walk past them, give a casual smile and keep walking. No, wait. A casual smile? That would surely indicate something was wrong. How should she react in a situation like this? Whilst deciding on the course of action she should take she was forced into acting when Potter Weasley started fighting. She'd have to intervene now. She took another deep breath and strode forwards.

'Fighting in the corridors are we? Potter, Weasley?' She asked. They stopped dead in their tracks as they turned to look at her. All of them had that same guilty expression on their face. Again…suspicious…

'I think that deserves twenty points from Gryffindor, don't you?' It killed her to take points from her own house but she didn't really have a choice. She was certain that's what Snape would do. Surprisingly, Potter laughed. That just annoyed her.

'Oh so you think it's funny do you Potter? Another 10 points off, I think.'

'But I didn't do anything!' said Granger. Confused, McGonagall turned to face her but she was staring at the floor.

'I don't remember speaking to you Miss Granger. But if you're so desperate to join in our little amusements then I think Gryffindor can afford to lose another 5 points.' With a swish of her cloak she briskly walked off, lest she was forced to take more points away from her own house. She could feel the students' gaze following her as she walked off. Just keep walking, she told herself as she strode off with her head held high.

Soon she was outside her office. She knocked on the door. It was an odd feeling, hearing her own voice answer her.

'Erm…I'm a bit busy right now, come back a bit later. I've...err…got stuff to do….so you know…' McGonagall got close up to the door and quietly hissed

'Severus? Is that you?' A stunned silence came from within the office. The door opened a fraction and McGonagall saw her own face peer through it.

'Minerva?' McGonagall nodded silently. The door opened a bit more.

'I think you need to come in' said Snape.

With a quick look around to see if anyone was watching, she hurried into her office.


	5. Chapter 5: Harry and Draco

**Just a reminder…**

**Alyson – Cho**

**Cho - Draco**

**Draco - Harry**

**Harry - Hermione**

**Hermione - Alyson**

Emma, to Ron's extreme displeasure, had dragged Ron off towards the library to research into what could have caused the switch to happen. Everyone else was making their way towards the appropriate common rooms including Draco in Harry's body and Harry in Hermione's body who were making their way to the Gryffindor common room in complete silence and refusing to look at each other..

'You know we're supposed to be best friends, don't you?' asked Harry, 'I mean like me and Hermione are supposed to be…'

'Don't talk to me Potter,' spat Draco. Harry fell silent for a while.

'And you're not supposed to call me Potter. It's Hermione. And you're Harry from now on until Ron and Emma find a cure which could be days or even weeks or possibly even months – 'Harry stopped midway through his sentence due to the look Draco was giving him. He walked along in silence for a bit longer.

'You know I really don't give people looks like that, you should probably stop it,'

'Look Potter, if you don't shut your bloody mouth and stop talking to me then I will bloody well-

'Ernie!' exclaimed Harry, cutting off Draco's words as Ernie Macmillan came towards them.

'Alright Harry?' asked Ernie, nodding at Draco as he went past. 'And you Granger?' he asked Harry.

'Bloody ponce,' muttered Draco under his breath. Luckily Ernie was out of earshot by this time. Harry just stood there, unmoving, completely silent. Draco sighed.

'Now what's the matter Potter?' he asked in a voice which clearly communicated that he didn't care in the slightest.

'He…he…he just winked at me,' stammered Harry. Draco laughed.

'Looks like you've got yourself a boyfriend Potter,' he looked around, confused. 'Where the bloody hell is your common room,' he asked.

'But he thinks I'm Hermione,' said Harry, he still hadn't moved from the spot he was standing on.

'Oh big deal,' yawned Draco, 'so your little friend is seeing someone.'

'But why wouldn't she tell me?' queried Harry

'I always had the filthy mudblood down as a lesbian to be honest,' replied Draco. Harry jumped into action at the word 'mudblood'.

'What did you just call her,' he asked angrily. Draco laughed again.

'What are you going to do Potter? Fight me?' Harry realised the point he was making. He wouldn't stand a chance in a fight whilst in Hermione's body. He sighed and carried on walking, ignoring Draco's fresh peals of laughter.

Eventually the two of them reached the Gryffindor common room.

'Frogspawn' mumbled Harry, and clambered through the portrait hole. Draco looked around.

'Ha, this isn't a patch on our common room,' he chuckled. At that moment, Ginny ran over.

'Harry!' she exclaimed, throwing her arms around Draco's neck. Draco looked somewhat disgusted. Then he looked thoughtful and cast Harry an extremely sly and borderline evil glance.

'Alright _sweetheart_?' he grinned, glancing at Harry again before he kissed Ginny for an extremely long time. Unable to do anything, Harry stood there, seething. When Draco and Ginny finally broke apart, Ginny turned to face Harry.

'Are you o.k Hermione? You're looking a bit…off,' Harry mumbled something about an upset stomach.

'Oh, ok, well, I have to get going anyway, places to go and people to see, you know,' she smiled and kissed Draco again. 'See you guys later!' As soon as she had left Harry turned to face Draco.

'You are so going to pay for that Malfoy,' he hissed.

'For what?' asked Draco innocently. 'You insisted that I be more like you. I assumed kissing your girlfriend would be part of it.' Harry scowled at him, then suddenly his face broke into a smile.

'What are you grinning at?' snarled Draco.

'Who does Snape hate more than anyone else in the world?'

'Hah, you of course,' retorted Draco.

'Yes,' said Harry, still smiling, 'and guess who has a detention with him tonight at 7pm?'

'Yeah, so? What's that got to do with me – oh,' Draco stopped short. 'Well…he'll probably…I mean he's not all that bad… he'll just…' Harry was laughing. 'Oh shut up Potter, unless you want me to break up with your girlfriend for you,' he smiled slyly.

'You wouldn't!' gasped Harry. 'Well if you do, I'll go make out with Cho, in public'

'Why do I care if you make out with Cho?' asked Malfoy, suspiciously.

'Whose body is she in? And whose body am I in?' said Harry. Draco looked confused for a moment and then finally realised what Harry was saying.

'Oh no Potter, don't even think about it, or you are so dead,'

'Well it looks like you're going to be nice to Ginny for a while doesn't it?' Malfoy grumbled something incoherent and walked off. Harry laughed and headed towards the girl dorms, he'd never been in them before and he was quite eager to check them out…


	6. Chapter 6: Cho

**Sorry about the delay. Hope you enjoy it.**

**Just a reminder…**

**Alyson – Cho**

**Cho - Draco**

**Draco - Harry**

**Harry - Hermione**

**Hermione – Alyson**

Hermione and Cho headed in the direction they assumed the Slytherin common room was in. They assumed they were going the right way as the lighting was getting dimmer and the general atmosphere was becoming much more morbid; how typically Slytherin.

'Ally! Draco!' a voice sounded behind them. Hermione stopped and turned around, grabbing Cho who was about to walk off.

'_You're _Alyson,' she hissed. Cho looked confused but eventually understood and looked up to see Pansy Parkinson hurrying towards them. She groaned inwardly.

'Hey sweetie,' Pansy smiled at her. Cho refrained herself from retching and managed to stretch the muscles of her mouth into a sort of smile. Pansy, however, wasn't paying attention and turned to face Hermione. 'Ally, I need to talk to you,' she said in an offhand manner, but clearly stating with her eyes that it was serious. She grabbed Hermione's arm and marched off importantly. Hermione looked pleadingly back at Cho but Cho shrugged and carried on walking.

It was strange being in a boy's body; there were…parts. It didn't feel natural. And the fact that it was Malfoy was not a comforting thought. Cho looked around helplessly. She didn't have a clue where she was or where she was supposed to go, or be, or do.

'Malfoy!' Cho turned around and saw Flint heading towards her. What a jerk. 'What the hell do you think you're doing?' he demanded. Cho looked at him blankly. 'Quidditch practice, now, go!' He ordered. He grabbed Cho and dragged her up to the changing rooms.

'Oh no,' objected Cho as she realised where she was heading. 'I can't go in there,'

'Stop being such a twerp and get in there Malfoy, I want you out on that pitch in 10 minutes.' Cho stumbled into the changing rooms, stammering a protest that was falling upon deaf ears.

10 minutes later she emerged from the changing rooms with the rest of the team looking much paler than usual, which was quiet a feat since she was in Malfoy's body. She ran a hand through her head then brought it away in disgust as it was covered in gel, mousse and god knows how many other products. She wiped her hands on her robes and ran over to the team gathering.

'Right, we need to talk tactics for our game against Ravenclaw coming up'. Cho grinned to herself; maybe this wasn't going to be bad after all. 'Malfoy, you're going to be up against Chang,' There was a murmur and some laughter among the team. Cho looked confused. Flint smiled and continued, 'As much as you may or may not like to… _fantasise _about Miss Chang… that is irrelevant. She's a good flyer. Do what you must; knock her off her broom if you need…' Cho didn't hear the rest. She was blushing furiously. How humiliating to have such a bunch of oafs think of her like that. She flew awfully that day, the Slytherins seemed impressed though. Well, it wasn't exactly hard to fly better than Malfoy usually could.

After another terrifying experience in the changing rooms Cho followed the other Slytherins back to their common room. The only problem was that whenever she looked at one of them, it gave her flashbacks of the changing rooms. It was not a pleasant experience.

They finally arrived at the common room. Cho looked around in disgust. What a vile place. Hermione was nowhere to be seen. Cho had hoped that she'd be around to give her someone to talk to. She spotted Crabbe and Goyle in a corner with a small first year they had pinned to the wall. They were looking at her expectantly. She sighed and walked over. 'What's with the midget kid?' she asked, putting as much arrogance in her voice as she could muster.

'He was in you armchair he was. We wasn't going to do nuffing until you get here incase you wanted sumfing special doing,' said Crabbe, in a low mumble. The poor first year looked absolutely terrified and was squirming uncomfortably under the grip of the two ape-like boys.

'Er, just let him go this once,' said Cho, unsure of what she should do. Crabbe and Goyle looked at her in shock. Obviously, this wasn't what they were expecting. She decided she should probably add more. 'We, er, have bigger fish to fry,' she added mysteriously. The two morons seemed to accept this and let the first year go, but not before kicking him up the backside and threatening him with what they would do to him if it happened again. With the first year gone, Crabbe and Goyle looked at Cho, as if waiting for orders. Cho fidgeted under their vacant gazes. 'You guys go entertain yourselves for a while; I have important business to attend to.' She had just spotted Pansy and wanted to go and find out where Hermione was. Crabbe and Goyle ambled off in an animalistic shuffle.

Cho walked over to Pansy who was sat on an armchair reading. She looked up at Cho. 'Oh, hey darling. You want to come sit with me?' she asked in what Cho assumed was an attempt at a sexy voice. It sounded more like a troll with a head cold.

'Er, no, I'm good thanks,' she insisted. Pansy pouted. She looked vaguely like a fish out of water. 'Erm, actually I'm looking for Herm- Alyson. I'm looking for Alyson. Have you seen her?' asked Cho. Pansy's mood changed completely.

'Why? Thinking of breaking it off with me to be with her are you? Is that why you've been acting odd around me recently? Thinking of cheating on me? Am I not good enough for you? Well, I can tell you that she won't be interested. I know that for a fact. And fyi I have no idea where she is.' And with that she stormed off. Cho sighed in relief. What a desperate loser. How the hell did Malfoy put up with it?

With nothing better to do, Cho decided to head up to the dorms to see where she would be sleeping. The dorms were no more appealing than the common room. She slumped on Malfoy's bed (she could tell it was his because he had a picture of his parents on the nightstand. She shuffled uncomfortably. There was something hard under the pillow. She lifted the pillow up and found a notebook underneath it. She opened it up.

'_My thoughts, emotions and feelings; a collection of diary entries, poems and other personal stories by Draco Malfoy,'_ Cho laughed out loud. So the ice prince had a heart after all. This should be interesting. She opened up on the first page,

'_To be one of them'; a short poem expressing my true feelings towards the Potter gang_

It can't get better than this, thought Cho to herself, as she got stuck in to her new book….


End file.
